Let's Talk

Phew!
Breathing space at last…it really does feel good without you, I have to admit, every once in a while. You have become a habit, and not necessarily one that's good for me. I know you feel neglected, and it does bother me that I do not give you enough attention.

It was a rushed morning, and I did feel bad about leaving you behind, as I walked away, although it wasn't a conscious decision at the time. There was soon a feeling of emptiness, followed by remorse and longing. You were missed, but the ache is no longer there now.

The novelty of our relationship has been overcome and we've settled into a fairly comfy place. The buzz of electricity that I feel at your touch doesn't excite me as much as it did when we first met. It's still there, of course, and I do steal admiring glances at you even after all this time. During the initial days of our courtship when you wooed me with your dashing looks and charm, I grew lightheaded and lighthearted. I'm aware of the instances when I didn't treat you as well as you ought to be treated. Soon, the cracks began to show. People warned that I would drop you like a hot brick once I got bored…and it struck me how people passed judgments so easily and harshly on what I perceived to be minor foibles or quirks in my personality.

Today, however, despite the distance between us, thoughts of you have crossed my mind, but they are few and far between. What's done is done. I know from past experience that it is futile to mull over it (us?) beyond a point. To quote a famous postcard writing: "You are there, and I am here, and there is nothing one can do about it."

In a fit of impulsive thinking, I wanted to rush back and take you in my arms again. But it was a momentary and fleeting moment and I walked on ahead. Although I had promised to come and see you this evening, I need some time to think. This time apart should bring in the desired clarity, without you by my side to distract me.

I have so much to say to you, as I am certain you will have as much, by the end of the day. We seem to spend more time talking away AT each other. The long silences in between don't help either.

For now, though, I think I've said enough.

Will see you later tonight, dear cellphone.