Honor Roll!

This blog is being policed by a certain women's morcha group forcing me to update my serene space (pls see avatar of glass tealight :D) here. Can't even meditate in peace and quiet these days. Kalyug hai, baba!

Having said that, I love my blogging sisters and brothers and also the ones I don't consider siblings :D and the fact that they come in here to check on me from to time is so touching. That some come in here just to give some gaalis is besides the point. :D

Today I discovered that I have been mentioned on a fellow blogger's blog. Not just on a blogroll (which itself is a good ego booster :D), but this guy, Harsha, has written a really sweet post on all the bloggers whose blogs he frequents and I got a special mention too! Yayy!! Thanks mate :-)

Back with a bang?

The big bang happened nearly 2 months ago. I am referring to my by now infamous foot fracture. Had worked from home the entire month of June and was on leave in July. Rejoined work today. The last entry in my work diary was 26th May, so yes, nearly 2 whole months later am back in my non-ergonomic chair at work.

Ah, nostalgia…on its own trip most of the time…

So two months--quite sometime and then again, not all that long either. Depends on how one perceives it. So why was I disoriented about everything workwise? I couldn’t find my way around my work files on the comp, I forgot the database numbers and how to access the global servers or network. To top it all, there’s the intra-office chat software (Sametime), which is both a lifesaver and a major nuisance at the same time. Messages kept popping up with people enquiring, “Are you back or are you still at home?” etc. The ones who came up to my desk and asked "How did it happen?" For the nth time I have to begin sounding like a broken record about it (considering making a banner and hanging it over my work station--about the grisly details of my accident).

So these people kept going “sssssssssssss” before I could even begin the tale. I’d start saying, “My foot…”, “Well…”, “Oh, you know…” and they’d immediately go “ssssssssssssss” and make a face like they couldn’t bear the pain. Wtf?!

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Anyway, so those familiar with my orthopedic woes and shoes will remember that they are a size 9, while my foot size is only a size 5. Yes, I have tiny feet (thank goodness I wasn’t born Chinese, else they’d be even tinier). As for the shoe/slipper, it’s black and as you can imagine, there’s nothing elegant about it. Wearing pretty heels is totally out of the question for the next coupla months atleast. As if I wasn’t moping enough about this huge sacrifice I was forced to make, I come across something worse today. Yes, things CAN get worse. It’s Murphy’s Law.

I look in the newspaper and see a photograph. What do you know? The photograph had someone wearing exactly the same kind as my new size 9s! Boy, was I mad as hell. How could I not be thrilled seeing my pair of shoes famously splattered across the newspapers on the front page, you wonder? No sirree, I am most certainly unthrilled!

For one, they were white; and two, the person wearing them was the Tamilnadu CM, Karunanidhi! *wails loudly*

----

Later in the morn, I dash off emails to my super and local bosses (there are quite a few of them) announcing with fanfare my return to the premises.

Then, a coworker (CW) buzzes me on Sametime enquiring about my well-being.

CW: Hi Jane, how are you feeling now? Sorry to hear about your airline fracture.

Jane: AIRLINE fracture? *bursts out laughing and types hahahaha in CAPS*

CW: *silence*

Jane: CW, it was neither an AIRLINE fracture nor a HAIRLINE fracture, but a proper fracture, you know. But I am doing better now, thanks for asking :-)

CW: OH! *pause* I’m so sorry, Jane… (utter silence follows and no communication for the rest of the day)

Dunno if missing the H in hairline was a typo or CW genuinely thought that something like an ‘airline’ fracture existed!!

----

Work done for the day, I need to get home and look around for transport. In my present predicament, the only one available is a rickety rick (autorickshaw). After haggling with 3 rickshawalas over the rates (they all ask for 30 to 35 bucks while the actual fare is 20), I find one at the traffic signal. By this time, I am resigned to my fate and ready for yet another fight with a stranger. What all we do for savaari! Dunno which is worse though, the haggling in itself, or the haggling in my horrible Tamil. Determined to pay only the correct fare and not be exploited, I inform the rick driver where I needed to go.

Driver: Ok, I will come. It will cost irruvadu ruba.

Determined Jane: Nothing doing!! I will pay only 20 bucks. That's what I pay every morning and that's what I will pay every evening also.

Highly amused driver: That's what I said....irruvadu ruba IS 20 bucks!!

Sheepish Jane: HA! Errr...*tries to save face*...which route will you take? I will choose the route!

Driver: Okay (grinning widely)

Sheeesh!

I finally arrive home only to realize I had forgotten to carry the keys with me in the morning. I'm locked out for the next half an hour.

What a day!!!

Makeover

New day, new look, new design.

Howzzit?? Do send in your ayes/nays. Not a survey of 'coz, just another perspective.

Its refreshing to me from all that black, altho' I did love that color.

Orange reminds me of vibrance, not that I'm feeling vibrant or anything, but it's also a color I likes the muchly.

Man, I can see clearly now!! (beautiful song...don't remember the singer now). The text, the links, the damn punctuation, everything is clear as day...wow! I feel like I've had an eye operation and can see. I wish the image in my head of Nirupa Roy in a 1970's film had not just popped up.

Ah...googled the song and found the whole deal. Such simple lyrics and a peppy li'l melody.

"I can see clearly now"

Sung by: Anne Murray
Composed by: Johnny Nash

I can see clearly now, the rain is gone,
I can see all obstacles in my way
Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind
It's gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)
Sun-Shiny day.
It's gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)
Sun-Shiny day.

I think I can make it now, the pain is gone
All of the bad feelings have disappeared
Here is the rainbow I've been prayin' for
It's gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)
Sun-Shiny day.

Look all around, there's nothin' but blue skies
Look straight ahead, nothin' but blue skies

I can see clearly now, the rain is gone,
I can see all obstacles in my way
Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind
It's gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)
Sun-Shiny day.
It's gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)
Sun-Shiny day.
It's gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)
Sun-Shiny day.

That was my blog singing, by the way.

:-)

Test

Just checking to see if this works.

Here goes: To the blurry govt. that bans freedom of speech and shamed this democracy, this one's for you.

_l_

P.S. The blogs are back up and running as usual. The ISPs have unblocked the hosting sites such as blogspot, typepad, and geocities. Praise be to Allah. The govt has acted swiftly as usual and for once, all for a good cause, thank goodness :-D

Ladka Hua Ya Ladki??

Meet Ipu--one of the third generation of kids in the family, a.k.a. Gen Next.

Androgynous already?

Kids start off early at everything in life these days!

And what do we have here?

What a cute li'l thing, wearing a dhoti and hair clips...

The costume was my gift, guess I confused the poor soul and its mother, hahaha! :D

O Ogden!

Ogden Nash -- One of my fave poets.

His crazy verses always give me a chuckle.
Some of his short and light-hearted lines are below.

Ode to a Baby

A bit of talcum
Is always walcum.

The Cow

The cow is of the bovine ilk;
One end is moo, the other, milk.

My Dream

This is my dream,
It is my own dream,
I dreamt it.
I dreamt that my hair was kempt.
Then I dreamt that my true love unkempt it.

Further Reflections on Parsley

Parsley
Is gharsley.

The Guppy

Whales have calves,
Cats have kittens,
Bears have cubs,
Bats have bittens,
Swans have cygnets,
Seals have puppies,
But guppies just have little guppies.

The Abominable Snowman

I’ve never seen an abominable snowman,
I’m hoping not to see one,
I’m also hoping, if I do,
That it will be a wee one.

The Wasp

The wasp and all his numerous family
I look upon as a major calamity.
He throws open his nest with prodigality,
But I distrust his waspitality.

What's the use?

Sure, deck your limbs in pants,
Yours are the limbs, my sweeting.
You look divine as you advance . . .
Have you seen yourself retreating?

What’s your W.Q.?

I’ve decided to attack two tags as well as kill my laziness to do them at one go :-)

1) List atleast 5 weird things about yourself by Aarti
2) Weird things you do/did at your workplace by Sayesha

Tag 1

a) Billions of blue blistering barnacles, I have a multitude of names. Name-calling ain’t so terrible anymore! Rolls off me back like water off a duck’s (no reference to TGFI here :P)

b) Thundering typhoons, I also have a multitude of email ids. When I first joined blogosphere, I signed up for my first ever email id at Rocketmail. It had a real cool looking interface, but eventually it was bought over by Yahoo! and all the coolness quotient vanished. In quick succession, I registered for email accounts at Hotmail, Yahoo! (4 totally, 1 is solely for messenger), Mailcity — which was renamed to Lycos eventually, Email.com — which is now Mail.com, Rediffmail, Sify, Care2, and a whole host of other free email service providers that I can’t even remember now. Now I use 1 Hotmail, 3 Yahoo!, and 1 Gmail ids. Couple of the above-mentioned ones are still in existence and I check them once in a blue moon.

c) I have two pairs of glasses (spectacles). I keep one pair at home and the other in my desk drawers at work. Since I only need glasses while using a PC, these are kept at two different locations.

d) I had 26 pairs of unstitched a.k.a yet-to-be-tailored salwar suits as of this month. There are also some 10 odd pieces of ‘material’ or cloth that was purchased to make tops/kurtas out of them. Although most were bought eons ago, they have been carefully stored in the closet. Don’t ask me why, I have no idea. I have a closet bursting at the seams. My cousins and friends think I should hold a sale or open my very own store! At the rate I’m going, I can even open a branch or two! Earlier this week, I gave 3 pairs of suits and 2 pieces of material (to make kurtas) to the tailor. Two different tailors in the vain hope of getting them back around the same time. No such luck, one tailor is taking one week and the other two weeks. I also ended up buying yet another salwar suit the same day! In my defence, it was a beautiful chiffon outfit with Parsi embroidery, something I don’t own. :-D

e) I haven’t counted exactly, but I own at least 16 pairs of shoes. Out of which, I regularly use only 2 or 3 pairs for months on end. Now of course, I pretend like I’m walking on the sand at a beach resort since I’m barefoot most of the time after the toe fracture.

f) I have spent a whole night yakking on the phone during college days. Think this has happened on more than a couple of occasions. Have also been online for as many hours and more at a stretch. Spending time online only happens when I’m stuck at home for a while, when I was job hunting and now that I’m homebound. A daily work/study routine fixes this addiction automatically.

g) What’s weirder is how this tag has turned into ‘numbers of this, that and other’.

Think these will do for now. There are way too many weird things about me than I’d care to acknowledge :-)

Tag 2

a) My workplace (popularly known as Siberia) does not have uniform airconditioning. It’s like that commercial with Eskimos in one corner and people covered in layers of clothing and in another, there are camels and people peeling off their ties and sweating buckets. Ewwww! I know! Similarly, at Siberia, you will find some areas with people bundled up in jackets, sweaters, shawls and even monkey caps, and some people with all of these on! And then there are other corners with people wearing next to nothing (ok slight exaggeration, but I swear there are some people who at least wish that people would wear next to nothing :-)).

My seat initially used to be in the Arctic zone and I eventually succumbed to the eccentricities when parts of me began turning blue with the cold. So I stuffed my desk with a few essentials. I had picked up this beautiful Kashmiri shawl a year ago at a charity auction. It was an alternative to Pashmina shawls, though almost as soft in texture. I knew there would hardly be an occasion to use the shawl in Chennai, but thought it would be great for Mom when travelling to places with cold climes. And what do you know it came in handy for me in this city itself! From being relegated to the back of the closet, it was brought out to be used and displayed. So I took it to work and kept it in my desk drawer. Friends would vie to get their grubby hands on it and wrap themselves in it ‘coz it was so pretty.

Despite its beauty, the shawl wasn’t enough to battle the cold, so I also took along a pair of socks. I would put them on every morning after arriving at work and take them off whenever I needed to use the restroom or during breaks or if I had to leave my seat and go to some other part of the office. I would put them back on again upon returning to my seat. Irksome, it was!

Sometimes, we take breaks to stretch our legs by walking down the stairs (7 floors down) and then walking around the building a few times. Once I was taking a break and went down to walk about with a friend and realized halfway through the 2nd round that I still had my socks on. Had forgotten to take them off before leaving my desk! I happened to be wearing a salwar that day, not even pants. There were lots of people around and some might have wondered why this girl was wearing socks in the blazing summer heat of this tropical state! My friend had a hearty laugh at my expense and discomfiture. I figured there was nothing I could do about this embarrassing situation, so might as well carry on with the walk and break and then return to my desk :-)

b) An internal chat service/instant messenger is available and meant to be used only for “official purposes”. You can bet, however, that it is used for anything and everything but work! So people buzz each other to say stuff like:

-- You are an idiot!
-- I’m hungry, let’s go get a bite to eat.
-- What are the lyrics to ABC, do you remember? Can't get the tune outta my head...
-- I’m ordering juice, would you like something? (Reply: I’d rather have chocolate cake.)
-- Himesh Rishammiya needs to be shot dead!
-- The boss (nickname will be used so that MIS would have to use their detective skills in case the conversations were tracked) is a jackass!
-- Click this link at once! (some silly article on MSN/TOI)
-- I love Johnny Depp and hate Brangelina!
-- Did you read XYZ’s blog?! Omigawd...!

This software is also put to use for other important uses such as gossip about coworkers and lovers' chats/tiffs.

Just like MSN, the chat client's contact list can be categorized into team/managers/big bosses/trainees/other teams/friends/ciggie supplier or coffee man (just kidding) etc.

Once I received some ridiculous astrological prediction via email about marriage. I had to share it with a few friends who I knew would have found it equally hilarious. I pressed the Ctrl key and randomly selected a bunch of names across different categories on my contact list, to send them the same message at one go. This is called sending an "announcement" and will flash on the receiver’s screen immediately. I did not know that announcements selected across different categories would go to all the people under that category, not just the names selected. It turns out my "matrimonial joke announcement" went to my boss, my coworkers, HR and other random acquaintances apart from my friends! I managed to provide amusement and a break to quite a few people that day!

c) My boss at a company I'd worked in earlier had a car in the same model and color as mine, and as per parking lots provided, both cars were always parked next to each other.I was not in my manager’s good books for this sole reason! This parking situation could be seen from inside the office. The lady boss could not digest that her subordinate had a car, much less the exact same model and color and had the audacity to park it next to hers. Some people! *rolls eyes* This is probably a weird fact about my boss rather than about me, but it was one helluva weird situation (oh, weird bosses would be a whole other list!).

d) I later graduated to a two-wheeler when I changed jobs. Yes, it’s usually the other way around for most people, but what with increased traffic and parking problems not to mention obnoxious bosses, I found riding a bike to work more convenient. Plus, I've always been different :P Had booked a bike and was awaiting its arrival. Had not yet fully learned how to ride one. I had to visit a client and for once, decided to borrow my co-worker’s bike instead of risking life and limb in an autorickshaw. Well, a rick would have been safer than a bike. Anyway, I nearly ended up risking his vehicle and the lives and limbs of people walking on the road while bravely attempting to maneuver the bike on traffic congested streets.

e) I can’t sit at my desk in an upright position for too long. I get uncomfortable within a short span of time and then sit cross-legged or with legs folded one below the other, or stretched out under the desk and resting on a stand/the overturned dustbin.

I can think of plenty of weird happenings/co-workers/bosses at the different places I’ve worked. Many of them weirded me out so much, I was probably the only sane person around.

And that’s saying a lot about my weirdness quotient!

Putting My Foot In It

1) Into the shoe: For a shoeaholic like me, it's a sad state of affairs indeed. Having fractured my left toe a little over a month ago, it was like being cavewoman. I hardly stepped outta my cave...err...home for days on end and was barefeet for a whole month. Didn't step out even to catch the sunlight. Today someone tells me that sunlight is good for bone strengthening and especially for fractures. Better late than never info, I guess. So anyway, there I was, foot swathed in bandages and cotton and what not for all this time, and now finally, I can walk...I mean...limp free. Only...it ain't the Neanderthal age, and realized I needed to cover up my feet. None of the couple of dozen odd pairs of shoes I own fit now thanks to a swollen foot. One swollen foot that is. The other foot is fit and fine. What a dilemma! Tried Dr.Scholl's footwear, other brands, and popular stores, but nothing seems right. Everything fits on my right foot quite comfortably, but nothing fits on the left foot. Have heard of hair and nails growing longer and paunches getting larger in a month, but a whole foot?! A shoe of size 6/7/8 (varies depending on the brand) decently fits on my right foot, but only about 2 sizes bigger than that fits on the left foot. *slaps forehead*

Finally, found a pair today (size 9!) that is really comfy 'coz it has a slight arch, all other soles were flat. Its not a micro-cellular-rubber (MCR) pair according to the store owner, but an MCP one. Of all the shoes in the city, the MCP one fits! The P in this acronym stands for 'polymer'. What were you thinking? :P Anyway, the store owner, after hearing the sordid tale of my accident and feeling all queasy about it, proceeded to force his choice of shoes on me, and lecture me worse than my doctor or my folks ever did! Uff! To top it all, he avoided all my queries on the prices of the shoes. Eventually, when my patience showed signs of running thin as well as the smile on my face, mom whispered that he was hard of hearing! Finally chose a pair that had nothing to do with supporting the fractured toe, but was comfy in all other aspects! Why can't they make pretty medically supported footwear? Why do looks have to take a backseat when it comes to comfort? Why can't shoe designers spend their time designing pretty orthopedic shoes? The prices are high anyway! Arrrrrgh! And the store fella acts like my grandmother! Had a good mind to stomp and yell, "my foot!" at all his droning.

2) Into my mouth: After the very 'happening' evening (see above), I watched TV, had dinner, and got online. Found a friend online whose leg I thoroughly enjoy pulling and began the old routine. This pal is always game for a few laughs and bravely ventures teasing me back, also as per routine. Only today, she was in 'durga mata' avatar. I had no idea she was down in the dumps/fuming away (she was alternating between the two emotions like a pendulum) on the other side of the intangible net. Online chats are so misleading. You never really know what the other person is actually thinking, feeling, and even saying. Although I could sense she wasn't in the best of moods, it didn't deter me from ribbing her a bit. Next thing I know, another friend calls and gives me an earful. Got fired left, right, and center today. The friend who had called was discussed in the online convo and Durga Mata messaged the Furious One. A silly incident blew the whole thing outta proportion and my li'l prank backfired bigtime. Total miscommunication gap! Is it Amavasya or something? Jeeeez! According to me, both overreacted and jumped the gun and to conclusions, which they otherwise wouldn't have. Now they are hurt and upset! Apologized to both to soothe frazzled nerves, but still feeling lousy.

End of the day, not only am I nursing a big foot, but also a big mouth.