Back with a bang?

The big bang happened nearly 2 months ago. I am referring to my by now infamous foot fracture. Had worked from home the entire month of June and was on leave in July. Rejoined work today. The last entry in my work diary was 26th May, so yes, nearly 2 whole months later am back in my non-ergonomic chair at work.

Ah, nostalgia…on its own trip most of the time…

So two months--quite sometime and then again, not all that long either. Depends on how one perceives it. So why was I disoriented about everything workwise? I couldn’t find my way around my work files on the comp, I forgot the database numbers and how to access the global servers or network. To top it all, there’s the intra-office chat software (Sametime), which is both a lifesaver and a major nuisance at the same time. Messages kept popping up with people enquiring, “Are you back or are you still at home?” etc. The ones who came up to my desk and asked "How did it happen?" For the nth time I have to begin sounding like a broken record about it (considering making a banner and hanging it over my work station--about the grisly details of my accident).

So these people kept going “sssssssssssss” before I could even begin the tale. I’d start saying, “My foot…”, “Well…”, “Oh, you know…” and they’d immediately go “ssssssssssssss” and make a face like they couldn’t bear the pain. Wtf?!

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Anyway, so those familiar with my orthopedic woes and shoes will remember that they are a size 9, while my foot size is only a size 5. Yes, I have tiny feet (thank goodness I wasn’t born Chinese, else they’d be even tinier). As for the shoe/slipper, it’s black and as you can imagine, there’s nothing elegant about it. Wearing pretty heels is totally out of the question for the next coupla months atleast. As if I wasn’t moping enough about this huge sacrifice I was forced to make, I come across something worse today. Yes, things CAN get worse. It’s Murphy’s Law.

I look in the newspaper and see a photograph. What do you know? The photograph had someone wearing exactly the same kind as my new size 9s! Boy, was I mad as hell. How could I not be thrilled seeing my pair of shoes famously splattered across the newspapers on the front page, you wonder? No sirree, I am most certainly unthrilled!

For one, they were white; and two, the person wearing them was the Tamilnadu CM, Karunanidhi! *wails loudly*

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Later in the morn, I dash off emails to my super and local bosses (there are quite a few of them) announcing with fanfare my return to the premises.

Then, a coworker (CW) buzzes me on Sametime enquiring about my well-being.

CW: Hi Jane, how are you feeling now? Sorry to hear about your airline fracture.

Jane: AIRLINE fracture? *bursts out laughing and types hahahaha in CAPS*

CW: *silence*

Jane: CW, it was neither an AIRLINE fracture nor a HAIRLINE fracture, but a proper fracture, you know. But I am doing better now, thanks for asking :-)

CW: OH! *pause* I’m so sorry, Jane… (utter silence follows and no communication for the rest of the day)

Dunno if missing the H in hairline was a typo or CW genuinely thought that something like an ‘airline’ fracture existed!!

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Work done for the day, I need to get home and look around for transport. In my present predicament, the only one available is a rickety rick (autorickshaw). After haggling with 3 rickshawalas over the rates (they all ask for 30 to 35 bucks while the actual fare is 20), I find one at the traffic signal. By this time, I am resigned to my fate and ready for yet another fight with a stranger. What all we do for savaari! Dunno which is worse though, the haggling in itself, or the haggling in my horrible Tamil. Determined to pay only the correct fare and not be exploited, I inform the rick driver where I needed to go.

Driver: Ok, I will come. It will cost irruvadu ruba.

Determined Jane: Nothing doing!! I will pay only 20 bucks. That's what I pay every morning and that's what I will pay every evening also.

Highly amused driver: That's what I said....irruvadu ruba IS 20 bucks!!

Sheepish Jane: HA! Errr...*tries to save face*...which route will you take? I will choose the route!

Driver: Okay (grinning widely)

Sheeesh!

I finally arrive home only to realize I had forgotten to carry the keys with me in the morning. I'm locked out for the next half an hour.

What a day!!!