DUH!!!

I am so sick of writing and thinking about how I abuse myself. By that I mean the procrastination, the lazyness, the inaction, the justification, the depression, the low energy, the lack of motivation etc. Despite all that, I’m still wallowing in the same hole I dug myself into.

What is wrong with me?

I don’t listen to my well wishers. Hell, I don’t even listen to myself. I heard and listened to the gurus, and was awakened and shaken to the core, and yet, had the most inactive weekend ever, fresh after all the inputs on the importance of being active in mind, body, and spirit! The silver lining, however, is that I am atleast aware and fully conscious of what I’m doing to my own self. So all hope ain’t lost just yet. Or so I tell myself and continue to wallow.

Am I such a gone case?? Do I need professional help? Will a huge kick in the butt make me move it? Obviously, I need a thorough shaking up of some kind. And I can’t take any more pain or painful stuff. I’m so done with that. So no thanks, God, if you’re listening. Ok ok, I welcome the ‘tests’ – atleast that should be the attitude that is supposed to make one stronger, right? Whatever.

So, what am I waiting for? A lifestyle disease to hit me in the face and force me to toe the line of discipline and care for my physical health? There are reasons all around me to care for my emotional and mental health. And yet I let myself rot away.

Arrrrrgh!! Somebody slap me outta my stupor!!