Identity Crisis

Main kaun hoon? Main kahaan hoon? Uffo, main abhi tak yahaan hoon!! :P

What's in a name they say? I did a bunch of 'what is your name in this country's language' quizzes on blogland and discovered Japanese, Italian, Spanish, French et al versions of my name. Got bored with that eventually. I continue to use a rather 'German-sounding' version of my name on email.

When I was a kid, each of my aunts had a different goofy 'pet name' for me. It was painful writing them thank you cards for their gifts trying to remember which name to sign off by, based on what they called me. Interestingly enough, whatever they called me, became the name I called them back, with an 'aunty' attached to it at the end! The names are just so ridiculous, but now I can look back at them and poke fun at them and at myself for going along with it.

Sample this: One aunt decided to hum when she addressed me, so I was christened "Gun Gun" and she became "Gun Gun Aunty". Dunno if there was some competition going on like 'Tag this kid with the most embarassing name', but the aforementioned aunt's sister decided that "Mun Mun" it is, henceforth, and of course, she was "Mun Mun Aunty". The squabbling sisters had another sibling who then promptly christened me "Minna". Atleast there was some logic to it as I was a tiny baby, a bit underweight even. (Those familiar with my size now, shall not comment and can just put a sock in it :D). Now, these aunts weren't masters of the game after all. Their mother and my beloved Naaniamma was alive and well then. Un sab ki amma nikli and she passed an order that the new kid on the (execution, in my view) block shall hereby be referred to as "Shammu". When I visited Disneyland, the most popular act was that of "Shammu The Whale". I somehow lived it down, kinda helped by the fact that the whale was cute :) Never mind. Till date, I call my uncle (the brother of all these aunties and Naaniamma's son), Shammumam. I have no clue how that connection was made. My guess is he was the only one who abided by Naani's grand orders and called me "Shammu", and hence he was introduced to me as "Shammumam". Now, can the father of all these wonderful people be left behind in this prem kahani? No sirree. Naaniammi's husband and my dear, sweet, adorable granddad officially named me 'Poornima' since I was born on paurnami ki raat, aka, full moon night. AAAAWWWOOOOOO! Ahem. That was quickly shortened 'affectionately' to "Punimo!" Yes, with an exclamation. 'Coz he used to yell out my name like that in public. This was of course once I was older and could run as far away from this crazy bunch as my two li'l legs could carry me.

Mum and Dad were on their own trip back in those days. Literally. Mom was tripping on being a new mom, all rosy cheeked and glowing, and Dad was on his own trip in Calcutta, post IIM days. They were high on life and love, among other things. Innocent stuff like music, friends, clubs, and parties of course. Ze good life, basically. And food! Boy, oh boy, what a food loving family I'm a part of. Which has no doubt left a telling and lasting impression on my adult life. Anyway, I digress. So Dad got wind of the name given by his dad-in-law and put his well-educated foot down. He was just coming out of a hangover of its own kind after pocketing an MBA and had joined an MNC, only back then, apna desh was still UK dominated and not the US of A based MNCs of today. So he said "Poornima" was a terribly old fashioned name. After spending a lot of time hunting for names, he gave me a typical Bengali name. Kolkata hangover I guess. In between, he had almost finalised on "Suman" and even wrote a letter to his mom about it. I still cherish that letter though it is in tatters. Dad also christened his youngest sister "Asha" and the basis of that was that the day she was born, he had seen a Hindi movie and the pretty heroine's name was "Asha". Ahem. Anyway, Mum and Dad, going by family tradition, bestowed upon me a pet name and that was "Chotu". Ok, you can stop laughing now.

By the time I was three, responding to so many names must have taken its toll. As I grew up and smartened up a wee bit, I developed 'convenient hearing ability'. Whenever someone called me by one of the above crazy names, I would act like I couldn't hear them. In school, of course, it was my 'official' (Bong) name. Can a kid be more tortured, you think?

Once I started using the net, I simply couldn't think up any nicknames for myself. Bland stuff like 'zodiacgal' was my handle on chat only because I was hung up on reading the astrological columns in magazines and Linda Goodman's book about Sunsigns enthralled me as a teenager. Picking a nickname for email accounts, chat handles etc., gave me nightmares. I took hours and even days to think of something, well, a little less ridiculous than the ones I've suffered while growing up.

I had 'name block' like writer's block for a while. Now of course I am a pro at different names and even identities. Played the fool online enough times under god knows how many nicks and personas. When venturing into blogworld, I suffered from 'name block' again. And Kini suggested I stick with A Jane. This one was also thrust upon me by him and Sayesha in some silly name calling game :P Kini got a bit cleverer (for once) and suggested 'Jane Doe'. I listened to him (for once) and it became my url. But for my 'posting' name, I was bored with that and so decided on 'The Chosen One'. *rant alert* After all, wasn't I 'chosen' for all those idiotic names as a kid? *end of rant* Besides that, back in college, my fave phrase when something unfair happened to me was "Why me?" I even had a Charlie Brown poster in my room asking that question. So I would wail and groan "WHY ME?" and my friend would reply, "Because you're the chosen one!" So that became the blog posting nickname. I wondered if it sounded weird, but heck, I've always been that way. Chosen, not weird! Ok, maybe a bit mad sometimes. :D

Most people on blogworld liked it and thought was different from the usual. This guy thought it was an ode to Neo! :) Others thought it was silly, or even sounded pompous. If only they knew!! Dishoom happily shortened my blog nick to TCO, which sounds suspiciously like PCO.

Today, however, someone said it was cheesy. Heck, it was my cheese to move, you know? So now I am The Cheesy One. *cheesy...err...cheeky grin*

With friends, my nicknames have gone the range from Sugar, to Hanuman, to Gabbar Singh.

Sigh...seems as if my tryst with names will carry on into my afterlife avatar as well!