Blank Canvas

I want to write. I’m dying to write.

To be funny, witty, profound, insightful. To grow, think, smile, and laugh.

And yet, all I am greeted with is a blank and empty imagination.

What am I lacking? Fodder for the imagination or fodder for the soul? Both?

Is it because a status quo life doesn’t warrant anything to write about? It’s pointless writing about the bygone past or the unforeseeable future. And what can one say or write about a non-existent present?

Writing about current events or issues that I feel strongly about, even that seems pointless once pen is put to paper, or in keeping with the times, cursor to url.

B-L-A-N-K has become my middle name. :-(

Tired of this! Need creative juices to flow again! Or was it just a short-lived spurt? Just like my life and my attitude? Everything in fits, starts, and short bursts that are too good to last?

Instead, why can’t I get tired of whining and moaning about this hole I’ve dug myself into? All I have to do is stand up and shove the sand aside. Instead sitting pretty seems to have gotten real comfy. Life has become a beanbag…unable to get outta this comfort zone.

Push. Kick. Shove. Just words right now, not actions. Hmmm…state of inertia. That’s the dominating phase at the moment.

Halp!! Of course...I just wrote...I could rinse and repeat! :P

Much Ado About Nothing

Fifty and done: A fresh start. A fresh look. And hopefully a fresh perspective. A new space and yet old. Are there any lessons to be learnt? Hopefully, to fret less and chill more :-)

Year of the tetanus: Visited the same ER room of a hospital 3 times this year. Some deep cuts, some minor wounds and abrasions. Someone predicted a few health problems this year, but who had bargained for freak accidents? The prediction might well have been: "expect the unexpected". Atleast then, expectations would have been lower!

Friendship Bonds: Some loosened, some new ones made. The tight ones remain in status quo mode. Thank God for small mercies. Have to keep reminding self of these key phrases: To forgive and forget, and To love and let go!

Shubh Diwali !

A very Happy Diwali to everyone.

May the light of wisdom, purity, innocence, beauty and love light up each of our homes and lives :-)

Wishing Well

Found an old notepad today and decided to fill it with stuff I want. Kinda like make a wish list...yes, I decided I'd use the whole notepad for this alone.

After the first 5 points, which included a digicam and a nice watch (currently eyeing a Tag Heuer), the list began resembling a 'to do' list. Points like 'a clutter-free room' and 'read all the books I've bought/borrowed before joining a lending library' etc., began appearing mysteriously on the list.

What's a girl to do when her dream 'wish list' begins to sound more like a practical daily 'to do' list?!

That sure brought me down to earth with a thud!

At this rate, my 'prince charming' will also turn out to be a 'prince yawning'...!!

Notes to Myself

Common sense reminders that I need to practise:

1. Stop thinking too much!! Especially on trivial matters such as blog identity! How does it matter as long as the point is to b-l-o-g?? Why does the location/presentation et al have to play as important a role than the writing itself?

2. Need to F-O-C-U-S on priorities here. Else, it will only work like the wave of a magician’s wand ending in hocus-pocus!

3. Stop being so paranoid! Have been feeling like a hound(ed) dog lately. If only it was Elvis the Pelvis doing the hounding ;)

4. I thought a plain and simple name would be common, but I made the mistake of adding a clever twist. It turned out to be unique and got me right back in the spotlight again x-(

5. Take multiple opinions, you never know which one helps lead you to the light at the end of the dark tunnel. Brings clarity and objectivity.

6. Learn to simplify. This is one reminder/new year resolution I have been making and breaking with amazing consistency. It boggles the mind how I can take a seemingly simple issue and complicate it till kingdom come.

7. You can run, but you can't hide! The more I keep changing my tracks, the more the scent of the trail continues to chase and discover me!

8. Learn to let go. I'm all tied up in knots. Can't cut loose from strings of any sort...

I need help! Is there a "blogiatrist" around with a comfy cyber couch I can take a much needed rest on? :D

Saturday Disasters

Cruel corporate slave drivers making us come to work on Saturdays! The worst torture there is! Employees come in looking either like they were forced to get outta bed or dressed ready to go partying! Either way, no one is in a mood to get any work done anyway, so how can they be expected to be productive?

There I am at work, sleepy as hell on a saturday afternoon, and bemoaning my fate, when a chat window pops up on my pc screen. The convo:

Colleague on 5th Floor: Good news

Janefield: what what???

Colleague on 5th Floor: but what do i get?

Janefield: hmm...its a saturday...so not much up for grabs :D

Colleague on 5th Floor: alright...then i will talk to somebody who might be interested :-)

Janefield: wait wait...sigh...what do you want? (resigned tone)...*anything to perk up a saturday at work *

Colleague on 5th Floor: Hee hee...one big rasgulla would be just fine!

Janefield: oh, is that all? Done!

Colleague on 5th Floor: yup, thats all i desire! great! now here is the good news...u dont have ur phone with you :-)))

Janefield: O SHIT (only now enlightenment dawns...no phone on desk...)

Colleague on 5th Floor: hee hee...i know where it is

Janefield: O GAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWD...! whr is it? whr is it??

Colleague on 5th Floor: for that another rasgulla ;-)

Janefield: o man...i can't believe this...i am priceless!

Colleague on 5th Floor: hee hee...its with K on the 4th floor

Janefield: what?? i'm on the 7th floor...how did it get there? how was it traced to me?? *praises the Lord and tries not to ask too many q's*

Colleague on 5th Floor: no clue...but she got the phone and as always my name was on the top of the list :D she called and i said hi jane! that's when she understood it was yours.

Janefield: i don't understand...why did she call you?? wait...let me call you now on your extension...!

To cut a long story short, the person who had found my phone (had left it in the bathroom!!) called the first recognizable (within office) name on my contact list. Phew...! I hadn't even missed my phone, did not even realize it was misplaced! Heights of saturday sloppiness! My precious new phone, that too, how could I been so careless!

Well, since this happened, I have misplaced the phone 2 more times, each time on a Saturday!! And have been lucky enough to have gotten it back as well, each time. The phone has probably spent more time in other people's hands than in mine! Now, I owe rossagullas, cakes, and god knows what next if I keep this up.... :-(

What do I need to keep on a tight leash? My phone or my scatterbrained mind?!

Accosted!

Why me??

This evening I'm minding my own business going for an evening walk with my music in not-my-ipod (:P) and enjoying myself, when this neighbor uncle stops me with a grin and a how-are-you.

Ok, so far so good. He enquires with concern about my foot (had a fracture a few months ago). He went on to tell me that someone in his family had to go through the exact same thing I did wherein surgery had to be done and a wire had to be inserted into the poor lady's foot.

Then he goes on and on about how he has spent the past week or two in and out of hospitals.

His wife's relative who is 66-plus slipped and fell in the bathroom. Her thigh was fractured and she had to have a knee operation. Then he said, "She cannot sit for the rest of her life."

Meanwhile, I was interspersing my comments with all these polite noises during the conversation and politely asked, "You mean she cannot sit down on the floor, right? She can sit down on a chair and such?" To which he replied, "Oh, of course, but she cannot sit down for the rest of her life, you know! So sad...but she can sit on the commode etc." (Excuse me Unkalji, I wanted to say, that's wayy TMI!)

Next, he narrates another incident of his hospital adventures of a man who had to undergo a prostate operation!!

But WHY was he telling me this??

Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh.....!

Yeh uncle log bhi na...uff !
It was so funny that I couldn't even patli gali se nikal jaoonfy :D

Life is a Highway

....I will ride it all night long!
(The title is another of my fave songs)

Vroooooooooooooooooooooom!
Finally watched the movie 'Cars' today. It was so cute! :D

I regress back to being a kid while watching animation flicks. In this one, the cars have personalities just like humans. The 'hero' is arrogant and the 'heroine' he falls for is sensible and sweet. There's his stupid best buddy with a bucktooth (on a car!), the serious old wiseman, the cheerful Italians (!), the annoying loudmouth opponent, the peace-lovin' (literally!) hippie van, the works! You actually feel for the characters (cars!) as if they were real living beings :))

Loved the voices, especially good lookin' Flo's of Flo's diner! Very obviously, an African American woman's voice and fun personality! The girly cars had eyeliner to denote eyelashes :)) And the bugs/insects in the movie were tiny cars with wings! (ok, now I sound demented :))

Love the way most animation movies teach such basic important human values of kindness, compassion, and friendship (and remind us of these once we are older and cynical) in such a refreshing, imaginative, and seemingly simple manner. They make you smile, laugh out loud, feel sad with a lump in your throat, make you go awwwwww, not to mention make you feel silly doing all that while watching cartoon cars! And the idea of two cars romancing each other by going for a drive together! Hahaha! So cute :))

Agree with Rediff's review though...Sally, the girlfriend car, should've been a Mustang, not a Porsche!

My new crush: Lightning McQueen's boyish li'l smile! :) Can't believe I have a crush on a car! Hahahahaha, tells you how bad I need a holiday from work, make that life! This movie provided just that for 2 hours :D

Thank you Walt Disney! Animation RULES...!

Glug...Glug...Glug

Drowning under a barrage of reports on science and technology. Why can't they invent robots to work on these masterpieces instead? High time I say!

No time to think, let alone energy to do anything, much less write blog posts!

This song (yes! yet again! :D) is currently apt.....METER DOWN...!

On a dance competition on TV, saw a celebrity couple do the rumba to this hindi song from a Bollywood movie about a taxi driver! Globalization anyone??

Bachelor Boy

Yes, yet another song, by Sir Cliff Richards this time.

But its also about this guy who is about to become a husband! Some of his friends and family decided to throw a surprise bachelor bash before D-day.

Only, the groom-to-be was clueless about it (and clueless in general, as well! :P). We were ordered by Tarzan to land at the venue well in advance (imagine arriving at a party early), and twiddled our thumbs and toes for a good hour and a half before Happy Singh showed up!

We did have a mini party of our own till he arrived. It was fun meeting up with people I hadn't seen in a while. P kept us in splits with her antics. This girl was happy as a camper with the streamers, balloons and crazy string cans! Her hubby looked on amused :-)

For some reason, the balloons occupied more space around the seating area and the balloons at arm's length from where I was sitting kept popping every now and then! P had a field day (night?) attributing it to my 'aura'. Yeh aurat bhi na....dekh loongi main usse! :-) Well, its gonna be sometime before I get to take a good look at her again, seeing as she's off traversing the high seas...will miss the party gal :-(

Tarzan was busy running around like a headless chicken trying to contact the Surd or rather the contact who was to get the Surd in :P A friend was to make sure he arrived safe and sound to the ones lying in wait...and boy, did we pounce on him! Typically, we turned off the lights and when he opened the door, he was greeted with screams and cacophony. Happy Singh could not have looked happier! Dazed at the reception, he stumbled in and quickly got into the party mood.

He was presented with a golden cup as though he had just run a 100 meters dash (more like the lemon and spoon race in Surd's case :-))). The cup wished him on becoming a "mixed double"....the party hats, party poppers, streamers, and balloons were brought out in all their glory. It had been a while since I attended a kid's happy budday....oops...it was meant to be this ultra sizzling bachelor bash with even an exotic dancer thrown in if some people had their way! It finally ended up looking like a 12 year old's birthday party only. Sorry Surd, but you will never grow up! ;-)

Happy Singh kept us entertained with his jabberings, all of which were surreptiously caught on camera. His lady love was also called across the airwaves enough times, after all, she was the other half of the mixed double, but was not in the same town. Happy's boss was the life of the party and ragged the Surd with full special effects! Surd ended up with cake, samosa and god knows what else on his thopda....LOL! A sight to behold, indeed it was! Confessions were extracted, blackmail and extortion were openly made for all to see and hear, and all this was caught on tape! God bless technology :-D

He even took the cliche 'break a leg' too seriously and instead broke a glass in all his excitement. Once he was on a roll, there was no stopping him....all the dialogues he came up with would have put even Salim-Jaaved to shame! The evening was mast and the party rocked. Wonder if the neighbours would agree though :P

Cheers to Mr & Mrs Happy Singh! Badhaai ho doston!
Wishing you guys a crazy, funfilled ride down life's lane together :-)

Helter Skelter

The title is another song.
Probably the first punk rock song ever.
Its by The Fab Four.

Have Answers? Need Fixing

The lyrics of this song best describe some of the thoughts in my head and the pain I am going through.

Fix You
by Coldplay

When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse.

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream, down on your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down on your face
And I..

Tears stream, down on your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down on your face
And I..

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you.

...And these lines best elucidate the emotion behind the above mentioned lyrics! Just the stanza and melody does a great job:

Killing Me Softly
by The Fugees

Strumming my pain with his fingers,
Singing my life with his words,
Killing me softly with his song,
Killing me softly with his song,
Telling my whole life with his words,
Killing me softly with his song.

Testing Times

Its tough, it is, to be strong and carry on with life as if all's well with the world.

You gotta keep going, they say. Even if your heart is breaking and shattering into a million pieces.

Going through pain can psyche the living daylights outta you, but watching a loved one go through stuff is much, much worse. Particularly when you feel helpless about it.

So why do good people suffer? What makes God test them over and over and over again?

Or is that only the strong are tested? To test their strength? To see how much they can take/bear? And what is the lesson to be learnt therein?

Or are people tested because they need to develop more strength?

They say the more people are tested, the stronger they become. But we are all only human after all ! Too many tests, and repetitive ones at that, can end up weakening or breaking one's resolve altogether. What is the point in living like a broken piece of fragmented china? Might as well just take it all away at one go, or at one blow.

Repeated blows leave one bruised and badly battered. There's only so much one can take.

So many questions....where are the answers?

Chand Phir Nikla

It is almost a year since I looked up at the moon!

Went up to view the lunar eclipse and was spellbound by the beauty of it all. Although it wasn't the typical full moon that inspires poets or romantics, it was still awesome. The shadows cast on the majestic moon were undaunted by its magnificence.

Had to crane my neck to look up at the moon and it was right above my head each time I moved! For someone who has a perennial neck sprain, this is not funny. The moon was playing tricks on me! Finally found a spot where I could support my back and lean against the wall. It was a sight to behold indeed. There was a white, yellow and a red-tinged halo around the moon, albeit at a respectful distance. It was really something else!

The superstition that people would go crazy if viewing the moon directly during a lunar eclipse is not unwarranted. How could anyone remain unaffected by that radiance and godliness? I marvelled at the moon casting its light all around. It was like I was seeing the moon for the first time in my life! Strange indeed!

Sigh....utterly gorgeous an experience it was. If only there was someone special to share it with! Not putting a picture, 'coz no image could ever do it justice. It will be all over the papers and telly tomorrow anyway.

All the paeans sung to the chand in Bollywood films don't come close to what I saw tonight. It took my breath away.

Of Yellow Lilies & Pink Gerberas

Instant Coffee!

Just shake, rattle, and roll on the road, and see the result :-)

http://ww3.mid-day.com/news/city/2006/august/142409.htm

Mouse Update!

We caught another one! And this one was tinier. Just a li'l baby. x-(

And the trap was in the balcony.

Aaaaaaarrrrrrrrrgh...

Instead of groaning and cussing about it, I am gonna take a cool attitude towards this whole shindig. See pic below.

Shopaholic Sistahs!

Shopping.....its a word that sends thrills through a gal and chills down a guy's spine. The anticipation of a shopping holiday is filled with such excitement among most gals.

And so it was that two pals decided to take off to Big Bad Bangalore over the weekend. Ze Zombie (ZZ) and La-La Lavs (LL) decided to raid Bangalore of all its textile and handicraft industries at one go!

Between the two of them, they practically emptied out Commercial Street. There are no stalls/shops left there and the road itself has worn down thanks to their marching up and down it all day. The shopkeepers are alternating between delirious shouts of joy and heartrending wails thinking about how quickly their stocks were emptied.

From strapless tops to golden shoes (yes, you read right), the gals returned with arms laden with loot aplenty. From feminine flair (flowery and dainty wear) to macho glares (roadside romeos), they experienced it all. Actually, they were rather disappointed with the apparent lack of goodlooking guys around. That too, in Bangalore! What is the world coming to?? Isn't there any justice left in this duniya?? Two gorgeous gals on holiday don't encounter handsome hunks?! Atrocious, no?

This tiny technicality, however, did not deter these determined-to-shop dudettes! They went about ransacking the best stores of Bangalore and also club hopped to their heart's content. So what if there were more scantily clad babes in the pub than interesting men? Huh! They tossed their (carefully salooned) hair and went about their business :D

LL is from LA and hence very la-di-dah, or so we like to tease her :) She is a gorgeous fun-loving babe with a limitless fun quotient and ability to laugh! ZZ makes everyone laugh with her antics and naan-sense! The two as a combo is rather deadly to beat!

They had separate seats in the train during the journey to Bangalore. LL hatched a plot to get their berths together by adding a twist to the already harebrained plot. She decided to give ZZ the role of a pregnant woman and announced to the people in the compartment that ZZ needed attention and hence she had to be with her in the adjacent berth, just in case ZZ gave birth in the train. ZZ decided to play along and promptly burst into a coughing fit. LL had to nudge her and remind her that coughing is a symptom of TB and NOT of pregnancy!!!

However, the poor men around did not seem to notice the difference and hastily gave up their berths to the one seemingly about to pop! Never mind that ZZ doesn't even have a paunch that can even be remotely mistaken for a pregnant woman's belly!

Ahh...the adventures of girlhood...a must for every young lady to let her curly or straightened hair down :D

More power to wimmin and ya-ya sisterhood! Rock on, dudettes!

Life

So what is it all about?

Its one puzzle no one has cracked yet.

Definitions a.k.a your version/take on life welcome.

Vande Mataram

What a beautiful song and melody!

Gives me goosebumps whenever I listen to it.

Very proud that it contains my name.